She
In 1995, I first got online. One of the first places I found was the-park.com and the Wiccan/Pagan room, therein. I met a young boy there who went by prophet752. he was angry and with good reason. I helped him as well as I could, long distance and without actually being there with him while he tried to sort through the emotional mess that was his heart, but there was little I could really accomplish beyond being there for him when he needed comfort and guidance.After a time, Wwe became Ffriends. and after a longer time, he grew to love Me. I could not allow those feelings to be realized. I had children in My home who were his age and it was NOT going to happen, and this is what I told him. he was seventeen by then, and so...as seventeen-year-olds will, he persisted to the point that I had to just...stop talking to him, and in order to accomplish this, I went offline for a time. My heart was broken and My spirit began travelling down the spiral that preceeds the darkest depression. I did love him with all My heart, and it nearly killed Me to walk away from him; regardless of what was right or wrong.
However, before I could just...abandon him to his life, I had to cast quite the spell about him...one which would help him to forget Me and give him the strength to move on until he was matured. he suffered the effects of this spell for years after...until the time was right for it to be broken.
In the meantime, My marriage to Adragon was falling apart...had already fallen apart, but I was loathe to see it until I literally had no choice. At which time, I left and started My life over once again, marrying DEATH G. REAPER almost immediately.
Another mistake. Wow. he was 18. What WAS I thinking?! *smacks My head* Yet, Wwe remained together for 3 years, attempting to make the best of what Wwe'd done. It ended with his abandoning the marriage...and Me, taking My car (which he did finally return, though in a horrible state of disrepair), and leaving Me holding all the bills and responsibilities from which he so childishly walked away.
But it was going as it had to, because good things DO come back to Uus...and in July of 2002, My shingo awoke from the spell that had kept him from Me for six long years. he was grown, matured and ready for marriage. Though, he awoke to find himself engaged to the wrong Wwoman. he fought with himself about the semantics of his decision; for soon as he awoke, he realized that he was not where he belonged.
Two days later, he left her and came straight home to Me. In December of 2002, Wwe were married, amid rhumors that the other girl was pregnant, had sexual disease, and oh so many other things...None of them mattered. Of course, Wwe knew which lies were just that...as this is 2003 and of course, there's no baby and Wwe were Bboth checked by physicians before Wwe were married, and got a clean bill of health.
And here it is, June, 2003...11 months later, and STILL no baby. So either she's suffering the longest pregnancy in human history, she's part elephant, or it was all just another lovely little piece of the cyber drama of which she seems to be so fond.
That out of the way, Wwe have been working on the D/s, BDSM part of Oour relationship. Wwe were made for Oone another. I adore him and he worships Me, and yet, Wwe can delve into the darkest of Oour needs and fantasies without jeopardizing the emotionality of Oour relationship. Wwe've spent hours getting to really understand the matrix and mechanisms between Uus; why Wwe're so right for Oone another, potential problems in the future, what Wwe need and want from Oourselves and Oone another...
When I look at him, I see more than just a beautiful, submissive, pagan man whom I love. Indeed, I more than love him. I am IN love WITH him. So much is the difference between the two that there aren't words to convey My feelings for him. he is My sun, My moon... My starlit sky...(to quote "Willow")...he is everything that I, as Domme and High Priestess, could ever want. I love him without limits.
There are no words for how I feel with him in My arms...Me in his...I experience with him, for the first time in My life...such a state of quiet contentment...sexual need and true devotion both to and from him. he makes My heart sing, My soul glow...My life feel worthwhile more so with him than EVER without...he never lets Me forget Who and What I am...and he never fails to please Me in any way I need of him.
Those four little words speak multitudes to Tthose Wwho live the D/s lifestyle...with or without the mix of BDSM being tossed into it. "...any way I need..." he has hesitated, had to work through some serious issues with his past, and himself...but he has never EVER ONCE told Me..."No, my One; i cannot allow/do that." there are things for which he is not ready...just as there are things for which I have no need. But never once has he failed to obey...to submit...to please Me as both Woman and Domme.
I cherish him for who he is. I love him for who he is. I adore him for who he is... his submission to Me shows Me the level of commitment, trust and love he has for Me, as well.
My one is My one true love. My first true love.
I've always said..."...you're husband #(whatever) and when you screw up, there will be husband #(whatever's next)." Not so with My godling. Now that I've tasted true love, I'll never again be able to settle for the mundane. he is My one. Literally and in all ways.
I thank the Powers That Be, every single day, that he loves Me. I am the luckiest Wwoman on the face of this, or any other, world. Thank you My love, for coming home.
he
Well, as Yyou have read, i went through emotional turmoil when i was 16. So many
do go through a high range of emotions at that age, but mine was severe. Brought on
by an ongoing event that didn't stop until i made it stop, as an adult.
There was nobody in my life who cared enough to see that i needed help, or to help me
how i needed it. An acquaintance of mine invited me over and i was able to get online.
Wwe searched for different chat rooms, and as young as the internet was, there were
quite a few. Wwe saw a Wiccan/Pagan room and this caught Oour interest and i entered
the room and found that there was Someone Who could teach me what i needed.
There was so much to see and learn out there that i felt i had wasted my life. Learning all the things that i learned from my One helped me more than i could have ever thought. It felt so right that i soaked it up. i talked with Oothers in the room, but She always helped me. i made more Ffriends in that room than i had in my entire life. Even when that Person wasn't liked by some of the Oothers.
i still only remember parts of that time, and i find myself doing things (magick things) that my One taught me back then. i remembered sitting at that computer talking in the Wiccan/Pagan room with Her as i was "waking up." The spell breaking like it did, WHEN it did, was a complete shock. i was about to marry someone whom i did not love. i saw many signs that told me what i was about to do was completely wrong. Ravens where coming to me and talking to me, i could never hear their voices before that moment. i looked at her and i knew i had to leave. After a couple of days of waking up from the powerful magick woven around me, my mind cleared and with all the messages i was getting from everything around me, i packed up my belongings and was on my way. i had a promise to keep.
Before i left i decided that my area of study would be in healing, Holistic Healing. i had met a few Ppeople on my bus rides through the United States Wwhom talked about such things. The further i travelled from her the more relaxed i got. i talked quite openly with these Ppeople (something i NEVER do) and learned something from Tthem. After i finally arrived and She came out to meet me, the largest smile erupted from my face. i have never been so happy to meet Aanyone in my entire life.
She was very happy to see me as well. Living with Her, i fell in love with Her all over again. The way that She looks at me lifts my heart so high. It makes me feel so happy to know that i have pleased Her. Even when i had to go back to Australia, i worked so hard to get back to Her. It made me laugh to hear how many Ppeople were surprised at my quick return. What makes me the happiest is that i will never have to leave Her side again, living where Wwe live and serving Her makes me happy and content... i have never felt like i belonged anywhere until now, i never felt that i could make anything out of life until now. Serving Her, caring for Her, loving Her has changed my life completely and so so much for the better.
